Yeah, I'm a
I do wear nail polish sometimes. When the mood strikes me. Thing is, the mood usually lifts again several minutes after the nail polish application, and unless I can be bothered to thoroughly remove the stuff with nail polish remover, I have to put up with what I deem to be ugly nails for the next two weeks. And why do I deem nail polish to be ugly? Here's why:
Deep colours give the effect of having dropped a tin of something on your finger/ toe. If you dropped a tin of baked beans on your big toe, would you then go around wearing open-toed sandals in order to show it off to everyone? "Oh look, everyone! Unsightly bruising upon my toe! How sexy!" I think not.
Bright colours remind me of being a kid and people colouring their fingernails in with gel pens. I thought it was gross back then, and I still think it's gross now.
Any colour on long nails just about does my head in. Long nails are an invitation to bacteria and weird crusty yellow things. If you can touch the underside of your fingernail, eww. Go away.
I can make my peace with clear nail polish; such a nail polish gives a clean, buffered look. The nails still have to be short, though. Not I-put-my-fingers-up-my-bum-and-then-chew-my-fingernails short (I don't know why I always assume that bitten-down fingernails have at some point been within a person's bumhole - I just do), but more I-trim-and-file-my-nails-on-a-weekly-basis short. You know it makes sense.
That said, I will wear red nail polish when I'm trying to be extra supportive of my football team. I'm sure it makes the world of difference to them.
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