Has anyone else noticed the progressive use of the word 'hater' in the last couple of years? Is anyone else irritated by this progressive use? Cos I am.
I think the word 'hater' was borne out of honest intentions. Probably. Rather than looking inward and thinking, "I'm a big freaking loser and no one likes me because she called me fat and ugly!", people (mostly girls) began considering the possibility that those who tried to put them down were just jealous and that their opinion wasn't worth regarding. The latter became known as 'haters'.
The trouble now is that if you express dislike or disapproval towards someone or something for a valid reason, you are immediately labelled, without hesitance, a 'hater'. I am not allowed to say I find Lady Gaga an unoriginal attention-seeking copycat without her fans calling me a hater; I am not allowed to say that some of the sentiments of the likes of Rihanna and Beyonce's lyrics or music videos are socially damaging without being told I'm a hater; I am not allowed to think Madonna is just plain crap without having hater-shaped blades thrown at me. I am, according to the world, a hater.
And yes, while it is true that I am easily irritated by a lot of people and a lot of things, I don't consider myself a jealous person who looks for the worst in everyone. I think Stephanie Germanotta (known to the world now as 'Lady Gaga') and Beyonce are two incredibly talented individuals, but that it's not talent that they promote: it's controversy and sex, respectively. I don't think Rihanna is a bad person; I think she's young and possibly doesn't realise the full extent to which she impresses on young girls. As for Madonna.... Alright, maybe in her case I am a hater.
The term 'hater' doesn't just exist in the celebrity world anymore; it now plagues the youth of today. It promotes the idea that anyone can do anything they want and never be told to consider the implications of their decisions; it promotes the idea of "I'm right, you're wrong and that's that"; it promotes naivety, self-importance and arrogance. I am all for being yourself, "I am who I am" and all that jazz, but we need to start taking responsibility for our actions. Maybe sometimes we do need to look inwards.
We need to stop promoting arrogance and start promoting intelligence and healthy debate; if that means we have to promote 'hating', then so be it.
Monday 30 May 2011
Friday 20 May 2011
21st May: Judgement Day. Apparently.
According to some evangelical Christian, tomorrow (Saturday 2st May 2011, for those who have not yet taken Days of the Week 101, as led by Professor Rebecca Black) is the end of the world. Judgement Day. The apocalypse. The second coming of Christ. Whatever you want to call it, it's happening. So do the smart thing and head yourselves off to Confession and help an elderly person cross the road before 6pm tomorrow.
My religious beliefs, like a lot of people's, are confusing and complicated and not really something I want to delve into right now - but to summarise, I believe there are truths and falsities in all religions. Or, not necessarily falsities, but false interpretations. One thing I have never been able to get my head around is how God's word and God's power can be given to Man. (And yes, I say Man and not Person because, let's face it: it's not very often that God's word and God's power is filtered down to women.) Maybe I've been watching too much Crimewatch, but seriously: If there is a higher being, only He or She knows when Judgement Day is. So don't have nightmares.
My religious beliefs, like a lot of people's, are confusing and complicated and not really something I want to delve into right now - but to summarise, I believe there are truths and falsities in all religions. Or, not necessarily falsities, but false interpretations. One thing I have never been able to get my head around is how God's word and God's power can be given to Man. (And yes, I say Man and not Person because, let's face it: it's not very often that God's word and God's power is filtered down to women.) Maybe I've been watching too much Crimewatch, but seriously: If there is a higher being, only He or She knows when Judgement Day is. So don't have nightmares.
Wednesday 18 May 2011
An open letter to the people of London
*Does not draw attention to the fact that she has not updated the blog for a couple of weeks.*
Dear Fellow and Prospective London Commuters,
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Maaarfer. (Not really, but because I live in South London, people generally can't pronounce their th-s here, and for some reason they also tend to elongate the ar sound. Maybe they're pirates. I don't know.) I commute through London every weekday, because for reasons now unfathomable to me, I decided that it would be fun to get a job a gazillion-and-one miles away from where I live. I start my journey and everyone around me is an Arsenal fan; I end my journey and suddenly everyone supports Chelsea. It's wrong.
Anyway, you may have seen me about: I tend to wear flat shoes so that it's easier to bomb my way up the escalators, I have my earphones permanently welded inside my ears even though 90% of the time I have a headache (because the alternative is to listen to people talking on their mobiles about cheese), and I always look pissed off - incidentally, because I am pissed off. If you haven't seen me, it's because some seven-foot giant with bad personal hygiene is pushed up against me on the tube, with little to no regard to my existence. If you see him, do me a favour and tell him to please excuse the pipsqueak standing beneath him (i.e. me). I would do it myself but, apparently, I'm just a pipsqueak.
As you may have already guessed, there are some of you whom I'm not best pleased with at the moment. I know, I know: you overslept, the iron burned your shirt, you were about to leave the house when your poo, without warning, decided it was time to play beek-a-boo; I understand that you guys and gals may have reason to act like total eejits half the time, but for future reference, please bear in mind that the following behaviour is likely, at some point down the line, to elicit a slap from yours truly. (And yeah, I may be a pipsqueak, but these hands have got hormonal fuel behind them.)
1. Eating. Alright, if you're starving hungry, skipped breakfast or lunch or whatever, by all means, go ahead and eat: I'm not about to sit here and order you to slowly die. But please refrain from eating smelly food, or eating food loudly, or dropping it on me. Chew with your mouth closed, and when you're done, do not sit across from me and burp in what you think is a discreet manner into your hand. It really is not discreet. I can smell it.
2. Eating one another. There really is no excuse for this, people. I get that train stations are a place where people separate from one another, and at times you may feel a desperate longing for the person you are about to depart from - but it's kinda rude. Because of your inexplicable urge to suck someone else's face, we all have to make a fat-arsed effort to go around you without accidentally touching or bumping into you. I'm not sure if the no-touching rule is because it's rude (us rude? Oh, that's rich.) to make physical contact with two people while they're being all intimate, or because we might catch the lurgy. I'm going with the lurgy theory.
3. Being slow. Do not be slow. Or, if you absolutely have to be slow, be slow in the corner, where no one's gonna get caught up in it. I am a keen advocator of overtaking lanes for pedestrians and commuters. I think I might even get a badge promoting overtaking lanes.
4. Being a selfish little turd and pushing your way to the front of the queue when you got there last. I was here first. Go to the back of the line.
5. Insisting on cramming yourself onto an already-packed tube when another one is due in under a minute. I don't get it. You're only gonna have the doors slap you round the head when they close, anyway. Just wait another 60 seconds and get on the next one. And if one of the selfish little turds from Behaviour No. 4 pushes in front of you, tell them that Maaarfer said "Yo mama." That'll teach 'em.
6. Staring at me. There are a thousand-and-one other places to look at while on the train, for instance: the window, the floor, that woman's shoe, that man's crotch, the door, your own hand... Do not stare at me. Or my crotch, for that matter.
7. Being smelly. Summer's coming and you really should be having showers every morning by now, people. If it's a hot day and you anticipate being squashed underground with a lot of strangers, don't wear leather - wear Imperial Leather! (Cheesy. Sorry.) As well as advocating overtaking lanes for pedestrians and commuters, in my spare time I also advocate trains with built-in Febreze. If scientists can put us on the moon (apparently), I'm sure they can come up with some way of making nonflammable aerosole cans.
8. Reading from a Kindle. I don't know why Kindles irritate me so much, but they get on my last bloody nerve. People with Kindles are worse than the idiots who insist on playing around with their phone on the tube, irrelevant to the fact that you can't get a signal underground. (What are they doing? Playing Snakes?) Stop being such a flash bugger and go out and buy a book. Who the hell needs 3,500 books for one journey, anyway?
9. Being Mr Wobble. I met Mr Wobble on Monday. He decided that, rather than holding on to something, it would be a much better idea to stand slap-bang-centre in the middle of the train and do a crossword puzzle. I think he fell over about a hundred times (I lost count), but still he seemed adamant that the completion of his puzzle was more important than not falling on his face. Or stepping on my feet.
10. Stepping on my feet. DO NOT STEP ON MY FEET. THESE ARE NEW SHOES. I ONLY BOUGHT THEM LAST WEEK AND ALREADY THEY HAVE A MILLION FOOTPRINTS ON THEM. Fecking eejits.
If you have any further queries, please do not hesitate to contact me in the comments section below. Or, indeed, you may address these issues with me on my travels to and from work tomorrow. That is if you can find me behind the seven-foot giant with bad personal hygiene.
Kind regards,
Maaarfer
Dear Fellow and Prospective London Commuters,
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Maaarfer. (Not really, but because I live in South London, people generally can't pronounce their th-s here, and for some reason they also tend to elongate the ar sound. Maybe they're pirates. I don't know.) I commute through London every weekday, because for reasons now unfathomable to me, I decided that it would be fun to get a job a gazillion-and-one miles away from where I live. I start my journey and everyone around me is an Arsenal fan; I end my journey and suddenly everyone supports Chelsea. It's wrong.
Anyway, you may have seen me about: I tend to wear flat shoes so that it's easier to bomb my way up the escalators, I have my earphones permanently welded inside my ears even though 90% of the time I have a headache (because the alternative is to listen to people talking on their mobiles about cheese), and I always look pissed off - incidentally, because I am pissed off. If you haven't seen me, it's because some seven-foot giant with bad personal hygiene is pushed up against me on the tube, with little to no regard to my existence. If you see him, do me a favour and tell him to please excuse the pipsqueak standing beneath him (i.e. me). I would do it myself but, apparently, I'm just a pipsqueak.
As you may have already guessed, there are some of you whom I'm not best pleased with at the moment. I know, I know: you overslept, the iron burned your shirt, you were about to leave the house when your poo, without warning, decided it was time to play beek-a-boo; I understand that you guys and gals may have reason to act like total eejits half the time, but for future reference, please bear in mind that the following behaviour is likely, at some point down the line, to elicit a slap from yours truly. (And yeah, I may be a pipsqueak, but these hands have got hormonal fuel behind them.)
1. Eating. Alright, if you're starving hungry, skipped breakfast or lunch or whatever, by all means, go ahead and eat: I'm not about to sit here and order you to slowly die. But please refrain from eating smelly food, or eating food loudly, or dropping it on me. Chew with your mouth closed, and when you're done, do not sit across from me and burp in what you think is a discreet manner into your hand. It really is not discreet. I can smell it.
2. Eating one another. There really is no excuse for this, people. I get that train stations are a place where people separate from one another, and at times you may feel a desperate longing for the person you are about to depart from - but it's kinda rude. Because of your inexplicable urge to suck someone else's face, we all have to make a fat-arsed effort to go around you without accidentally touching or bumping into you. I'm not sure if the no-touching rule is because it's rude (us rude? Oh, that's rich.) to make physical contact with two people while they're being all intimate, or because we might catch the lurgy. I'm going with the lurgy theory.
3. Being slow. Do not be slow. Or, if you absolutely have to be slow, be slow in the corner, where no one's gonna get caught up in it. I am a keen advocator of overtaking lanes for pedestrians and commuters. I think I might even get a badge promoting overtaking lanes.
4. Being a selfish little turd and pushing your way to the front of the queue when you got there last. I was here first. Go to the back of the line.
5. Insisting on cramming yourself onto an already-packed tube when another one is due in under a minute. I don't get it. You're only gonna have the doors slap you round the head when they close, anyway. Just wait another 60 seconds and get on the next one. And if one of the selfish little turds from Behaviour No. 4 pushes in front of you, tell them that Maaarfer said "Yo mama." That'll teach 'em.
6. Staring at me. There are a thousand-and-one other places to look at while on the train, for instance: the window, the floor, that woman's shoe, that man's crotch, the door, your own hand... Do not stare at me. Or my crotch, for that matter.
7. Being smelly. Summer's coming and you really should be having showers every morning by now, people. If it's a hot day and you anticipate being squashed underground with a lot of strangers, don't wear leather - wear Imperial Leather! (Cheesy. Sorry.) As well as advocating overtaking lanes for pedestrians and commuters, in my spare time I also advocate trains with built-in Febreze. If scientists can put us on the moon (apparently), I'm sure they can come up with some way of making nonflammable aerosole cans.
8. Reading from a Kindle. I don't know why Kindles irritate me so much, but they get on my last bloody nerve. People with Kindles are worse than the idiots who insist on playing around with their phone on the tube, irrelevant to the fact that you can't get a signal underground. (What are they doing? Playing Snakes?) Stop being such a flash bugger and go out and buy a book. Who the hell needs 3,500 books for one journey, anyway?
9. Being Mr Wobble. I met Mr Wobble on Monday. He decided that, rather than holding on to something, it would be a much better idea to stand slap-bang-centre in the middle of the train and do a crossword puzzle. I think he fell over about a hundred times (I lost count), but still he seemed adamant that the completion of his puzzle was more important than not falling on his face. Or stepping on my feet.
10. Stepping on my feet. DO NOT STEP ON MY FEET. THESE ARE NEW SHOES. I ONLY BOUGHT THEM LAST WEEK AND ALREADY THEY HAVE A MILLION FOOTPRINTS ON THEM. Fecking eejits.
If you have any further queries, please do not hesitate to contact me in the comments section below. Or, indeed, you may address these issues with me on my travels to and from work tomorrow. That is if you can find me behind the seven-foot giant with bad personal hygiene.
Kind regards,
Maaarfer
Monday 2 May 2011
One is Not Amused
How have my British readers been enjoying their extended four-day weekend? What did you all get up to? If you tell me that you joined the masses in celebrating the Royal Wedding, please do me a favour and give yourself a slap round the head pat on the back.
I really don't get why £22 million had to be spent on security alone. I mean, I know Prince William used to be a bit of a catch, and some girls are really into the whole 'bling and ching ting', but I'm sure Prince Charles and Prince Philip could have adequately rugby-tackled any last-minute wedding crashers at the "Please speak now, or forever hold your peace" part. The Royal Family really don't know a lot about budgeting; "a small affair" my arse. If we're gonna accept David Cameron's "we have to make a lot of tough decisions" and "this is going to be hard for everyone" crap (which we're not, by the way), then why can't William and Kate accept it, too? If we have to stop shopping at Waitrose and start going to Aldi instead, why aren't they having their wedding reception at KFC?
Final word? Don't support elitism, people. They don't care about us, so why should we care about them? Oh, and no: it didn't make me feel proud to be British. What makes me proud to be British is our healthcare system and other public services such as our libraries and...
Oh wait.
I really don't get why £22 million had to be spent on security alone. I mean, I know Prince William used to be a bit of a catch, and some girls are really into the whole 'bling and ching ting', but I'm sure Prince Charles and Prince Philip could have adequately rugby-tackled any last-minute wedding crashers at the "Please speak now, or forever hold your peace" part. The Royal Family really don't know a lot about budgeting; "a small affair" my arse. If we're gonna accept David Cameron's "we have to make a lot of tough decisions" and "this is going to be hard for everyone" crap (which we're not, by the way), then why can't William and Kate accept it, too? If we have to stop shopping at Waitrose and start going to Aldi instead, why aren't they having their wedding reception at KFC?
Final word? Don't support elitism, people. They don't care about us, so why should we care about them? Oh, and no: it didn't make me feel proud to be British. What makes me proud to be British is our healthcare system and other public services such as our libraries and...
Oh wait.
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