One is Not Amused

How have my British readers been enjoying their extended four-day weekend? What did you all get up to? If you tell me that you joined the masses in celebrating the Royal Wedding, please do me a favour and give yourself a slap round the head pat on the back.

I really don't get why £22 million had to be spent on security alone. I mean, I know Prince William used to be a bit of a catch, and some girls are really into the whole 'bling and ching ting', but I'm sure Prince Charles and Prince Philip could have adequately rugby-tackled any last-minute wedding crashers at the "Please speak now, or forever hold your peace" part. The Royal Family really don't know a lot about budgeting; "a small affair" my arse. If we're gonna accept David Cameron's "we have to make a lot of tough decisions" and "this is going to be hard for everyone" crap (which we're not, by the way), then why can't William and Kate accept it, too? If we have to stop shopping at Waitrose and start going to Aldi instead, why aren't they having their wedding reception at KFC?

Final word? Don't support elitism, people. They don't care about us, so why should we care about them? Oh, and no: it didn't make me feel proud to be British. What makes me proud to be British is our healthcare system and other public services such as our libraries and...

Oh wait.