Series: Countdown To 2012

Series: The 12 Week Countdown

Every week for 12 weeks until the dawn of the Year 2012, I am blogging about things to look forward to and things to dread about the coming year. Today there are...

...9 Weeks To 2012: The pitter-patter of royal footsteps... maybe.

Maybe it's just me being cynical, but I've always found it bizarre that whenever the (Tory, usually) government is in deep shit, the royal family steps up and does something exciting to bring joy and unity to the nation. When Maggie Thatcher, Milk Snatcher was messing things up, Charles and Diana wed, and soon after had William and Harry. When Tony Blair was getting his hands dirty in Iraq's oil, Charles and Camilla wed. When David Cameron began the slow, torturous procedure of screwing us all over, William and Kate wed. Now things are destined to get even worse, and I can almost imagine Mr Cameron's PR people piercing little holes in William's condoms and swapping Kate's contraceptive pill with tic-tacs.

I'm not sure if it's a deliberate attempt by the royal family to paper over the cracks in our broken society, but it does seem odd. Perhaps they take their duties very seriously; perhaps I have underestimated them in my naive assumption that all they do is shake people's hands, wave as if they have a broken wrist and smile at people they clearly think are morons. Either way, I'm not too bothered. Maybe we'll get another bank holiday.