I think I may have dreamed a dream almost as trippy as the milking-a-chicken-with-a-marshmallow dream. Almost, but not quite. I think it would take a lot to out-trip that dream.
The Splinter Dream
I looked down at my thumb (the one on my right hand), and there were two short black splinters protruding from the side of it, just below the nail. They didn't hurt, but I decided that they had to come out. So I started squeezing at the sides of the splinters, and much to my horror, what began to emerge from my skin was two long green tubes, joined at the top by a thin, black string. They were about three inches in length and, together, about an inch wide. I didn't have a clue what they were, but I was suddenly reminded of that scene from Mary Poppins where she's digging about in her bag and pulling out six-foot lampshades.
I went off to tell people, taking the two green tubes with me, but as I unveiled the tubes to people, what I found myself holding up was a bottle of lemon-flavoured shampoo. Two splinters had turned into two green tubes, and two green tubes had turned into lemon-flavoured shampoo, and it only seemed a little disconcerting to me.
I looked down at my thumb again, and noticed another black splinter, but this one was buried underneath my skin. I squeezed and squeezed and squeezed it, but it just wouldn't come up. So I gave up, terrified in the knowledge that I had a bottle of shampoo in my thumb.
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