One, two, three, four, listen to my bum roar

If, like me, you happen to act your shoe size rather than your age, then this may well be the best web page you will ever encounter in your entire life.

Thanks to this web page, I now know (and can share this knowledge at future dinner parties) the following:

• The crinoid's anus is located next to its mouth.
• You can buy special underwear which soaks up the odour from your farts. (Though I would not want to be there when the underwear is taken off at the end of the day. And the underwear would probably break your washing machine, too.)
• The animal with the highest worldwide output of flatus is the termite. Termite fart is actually a major contributor to global warming.
• Cows burp more than they fart.
• The great early 20th Century French flatulist, Le Petomane, was able to suck a bowlful of water up his bumhole and then expel it again. So a bowlful became a bowelful.
• Theoretically, if you were able to fart in space while naked, the fart would propel you forwards.
• If you went out naked into the cold and farted, you'd be able to see the fart like you can see your breath.

...And many more interesting facts about farts.

Give it a read. It's better than Harry Potter, anyway.